Being in flow, integrity and manifestation

So much for being regular about posting, ha!  Oh, I set out to write twice a week and then let that slide.  Partly because sometimes life happens.  You know all that stuff that gets you side-tracked.  And then there's the other partly.  The partly where I'm experiencing what Millennials often call "being in flow," which can be legit or just an excuse for not getting shit done.

As it goes, this brought me back to this blog to say a little something about "being in flow" because, well I've spent over a week doing just that.  For me it was a time of reflection of course--all that inner work we do that keeps us from getting shit done.  My boyfriend has a point about "processing."  It can be rather redundant and long winded.  My dad used to say, "pull yourself up by the bootstraps and GET A MOVE ALONG!"  He meant it.  No whining, no complaining just doing what the moment calls for.  Which is an old-fashioned way of saying, "live in the present."  Or as Millennials say, "just be in flow."  Yeah just be in flow and somehow miraculously things "manifest."  I love that in a hopeful if sarcastic way: I kind of want to make fun of it but I sort of wish it was true!  I'm conflicted obviously about the word and meaning of flow.  The other word I'm a bit confused about as it relates to being in flow is manifest, which is another word Millennials are fond of using.  But I'm only confused by the way this language is employed so liberally among some people who may or may not really know what they're talking about.

How I see it sometimes, or at least today, is that flow can be an art form and a platform for life.  I mean it's beautiful in the way art is and it's a platform in the way Facebook is a platform for social connection.  But is Facebook the best platform for social connection? Well maybe in some ways.  It's certainly an effective way to keep us all in each other's business even if what many people post on Facebook isn't always the truth of what's really going on.  So, this brings me back to flow.  Is flow the best way to be in the present?  Well...maybe yes and maybe no.  It depends.

If flow allows a person to be in a "come what may and love it" state of mind, then maybe flow is a pretty cool thing.  In other words, if you can be detached from outcomes then flow will work in your life.  If you can take each day as a gift, no matter what unfolds and calmly accept all outcomes then flow is magic.  If you can't, well then flow can become simply just an excuse to not get things done or not live in integrity with agreements you've honorably made--even those you've made with yourself.  Like the one I made to myself that I'd write this blog twice a week, preferably Wednesday and Saturday, but while being "in flow" I broke.  However, this blog couldn't have been written if I hadn't broken that agreement while being in flow.  I find a sense of comfort in the ironies of life.

I've been asking myself how integrity fits into being in flow and what does it mean to live in integrity? I heard Dave Asprey talking about (OK I'm sorry) a Millennial he'd hired to do a specific job. I love Millennials by the way.  I do.  It's just in my meager attempt to come to terms with the complexities of life, I enjoy examining people and what they say for deeper meaning. This includes Millennials.  Please no offense taken. I sincerely think a sense of humor is part of, well, being in flow! And honestly, without Millennials, I wouldn’t even be in the know of knowing what the meaning of being in flow is, sort of.  At any rate, I learn a lot about myself from Millennials. 

Anyway, the night before doing what this person was hired to do, this person called Dave and said they were backing out of their commitment in order to be in flow and go on a date or something.  This person believed that Dave would understand, probably because Dave is so cool.  Dave said something like, "Well don't you think that's a bit out of integrity?"  The person answered, "Dave it might be out of integrity for you, but it's not out of integrity for me."  This begs the question does flow suddenly outrank integrity in our modern world?  God, I hope not. 

So, flow.... What is it?  How I see it is flow is a way of calmly pursuing each day and allowing things to unfold naturally without force.  I think the fallacy that occurs is thinking flow requires no work or decision making or planning or even simple common courtesy for how our being in flow effects those around us.  But everything we do in life except a few bodily functions requires choice and effects everything around us (including people) in some way, shape or form.  All of this choice-making by the way requires brain work and then action which is movement.  

Being in flow itself requires a choice to be so and the work done to remain there.  Then if all goes well, flow places you in action which moves you where you want or actually need to go.  Yes, need.  It's not all about desire and wants in this life as far as I can see.  Sometimes the need part is about responsibility and integrity because of how being in flow and the language you use to defend your being in flow "lands" on those around you.  This language "lands" either beneficially or not--and occasionally neutral, but this is not as common.  At least not how I've seen and heard of this being in flow plays out in people's lives now that being in flow has taken on this sort of cool esoteric way of saying I'm finding myself or I need to live authentically or whatever the new cool thing to say may be that allows someone to, well let’s be honest here, step all over other people's needs--even hurt other people sometimes.

So, some sense of personal responsibility and integrity towards our connection to other people is necessary.  This is done within reason, not by being a martyr.  We all must love ourselves and respectfully take care of our own needs before we can serve anyone.  This is why on an airplane you put the mask on yourself first then help others around you to do the same.  Can all of this be part of being in flow too?  Can we be responsible, have integrity and live in flow all at the same time?  Yes.  But being in flow requires a bit of mindfulness practice every day to do it effectively.  Especially if you’re being in flow to manifest the life that brings you satisfaction and joy.

I look at people like Oprah and Tony Robbins, absolute rock stars in the flow to manifest category of people living today.  Having heard much of what both these individuals say, I've come to the conclusion that flow to manifest a life worth living full of abundance is achieved if you have a clear vision of what your ideal life looks like as it relates to others and how it is that you'll serve those people around you.  The truly successful people in life, and I'm not talking about financially though they have that too, are those people who are dedicated to making the lives of others better. That usually starts small in how you treat the people immediately around you.  An honest and true desire to serve others as your vision is the fastest way to live in flow and manifest a successful, satisfying life.  If you don't have that vision and are not actively pursuing serving others, unfortunately being in flow really just looks like an excuse to not get shit done. 

I heard a story over the weekend.  A friend of mine works with a team of teachers who are supposed to show up for 2 mandatory meetings a school year for a total of 4 hours, 2 each.  That's it, just 2.  This team is made up of "lead" teachers.  So, it's kind of an honor and certainly a testimony to their work performance that they're even invited to be on this team.  There was one teacher who missed both meetings.  In a private meeting at the end of the school year, when asked by my friend, who was counting on her to show up, why she didn't make those meetings the excuse floored both my friend and the administer in attendance.  This teacher had a weekly exercise class that conflicted with these 2 yearly meetings.  Seriously.  She looked at her boss and my friend and told them this as if it was totally acceptable.  She was sincere about it too.

This story has a good ending.  My friend convinced this teacher to compromise just 2 exercise classes a year and attend the leadership meetings next year or they'd have to have someone else take her place.  By the way, this was an extra-assignment.  So, it was pay above and beyond a typical teacher salary.  Not a lot but it wasn't something that she wasn't already paid for.  During their meeting, the woman could see missing 2 exercise classes a year was worth the opportunity to have this leadership position.  She has since attended the 2 yearly meetings and is absolutely excelling in her leadership position.  Still my friend and the principal, right after the initial meeting where the absenteeism was discussed, did look at one another and say, "Did she really just say that about her exercise class?"  They kind of were in shock.  Yeah.  I think being in flow shouldn't be an excuse to shirk responsibility--or not have a clear vision of reality—at least around commitments and connections with others.

At the end of the day, I think flow is an enlightened way of living if it promotes being in a state of "come what may and love it" so you can be in a free state of choice to live with the consequences of your actions no matter what the outcome.  At this point, then manifesting is simply and diligently acting in a way which illustrates you have a clear vision of what your meaningful purpose in life is as it pertains to others as well as yourself; and last but not least, integrity is being respectfully dependable--as my dad would say it, "put your money where your mouth is." 

Part of living in integrity is doing what you say you will when others rely on you to follow through.  Do this to the best of your ability.  You won't always be perfect at it.  But don't give up on being the best you can be. Actions will speak louder than words.  Be in flow knowing this.  Do it.  But do it with integrity because people learn by example and will follow suit.  Flow is magic when manifesting integrity.  That's how I see it sometimes.